Ask Beet Buster and Blue Buster
It’s like dealing with children sometimes

I had to separate sempai from Hiromu yet again. Honestly, I know sempai’s claiming to be merely twenty-seven, but that still makes him older than Hiromu. I’m not expecting him to be as strict as Kuroki, but some poise would be a welcome change.

Well, as long as I’m here, I may as well check the blog— Youko-chan, what’re you doing there, reading about…

Nooooooooo, Youko-chan, I promise, I’m, not like that, I’m a good and pure nii-san, I swear!

—Ryuuji

How is J's book coming along?
Anonymous

Hello, this is Ryuuji. Apologies for ‘hijacking’ a question specifically meant for J, but I felt that you might want to see this letter I found on my bed today. It should be noted that there are… some risque passages in this letter, so please don’t read it if that offends you.

Dear Ryuuji,

It is I, Beet J Stag. Today I saw an amazing sight. A woman was being photographed, by more than one camera! I was so stunned by something so wonderful, I had to watch. Tell Jin I want to be photographed by more than one camera soon.

After the woman was done, I spoke to her. She said her name is Ozu Houka. I told her that my name is Beet J Stag, and that I was looking for a ‘library’ so I could learn about ‘the sex’ for my novel. She said, “Pfft, I’ll tell you now!” We spoke for another five hours.

I have decided. While you’re still definitely seducing material, and I would love to show you my superior love making abilities, there are fluids involved in the sex I do not want on my body. Therefore, I will no longer try to seduce you. Instead, I will wait for when Jin seduces you, and watch. Then I will finish my novel.

Yours in superiority,

J, aka Beet J Stag

PS, tell Jin to seduce you.

Well, at least I don’t need to worry about J jumping on me anymore?

That said… he’s going to be waiting for a very, very long time. The idea of J watching us is what some would call ‘a mood killer’ to the extreme.

—Ryuuji

I would much rather hear more of your totally based on true events story J.
Anonymous

Very well. Here is another excerpt from the beginning of my story:

Ryuuji was a successful engineer. He engineered all day and all night, and he was very happy. Except… he felt the need to be seduced. Not just by any lower life form like Jin, but rather a quality egotist that liked his hair and how he smells like Enetron. Sadly, he did not know any quality egotists yet.

One day, Ryuuji went to a business office because he needed to do business. He fell down because that’s apparently what a lot of people do in romance stories, but before he fell down, he was caught.

By a quality Buddyroid egotist named Beet J Stag.

"Hello," said J, which was Beet J Stag’s nickname. "I am Beet J Stag. I run this business, and I’ve been told that I’m very good at seducing people. I have decided to seduce you. Prepare to have lavish gifts and ‘the sex.’ All I ask in return is that you let me drink Enetron off of your torso sometimes."

"Wow, J, what a deal," said Ryuuji. "I can feel myself being seduced already. You’re much better at this than Jin. You are the best Buddyroid, the best Buster, and now the best lover. Speaking of, perhaps we should have ‘the sex’ now?"

"Excellent idea," said J.

… I don’t what ‘the sex’ is, so I’m stuck at this point.

—J

I suppose it’s better than the other people you could pair me up with at EMC.No offense to Kuroki, of course.

—Ryuuji

Farewell, Rei

We buried Rei in an old eraser box, underneath J’s favorite tree in the forest. His speech was very touching: he said that he hoped that she could taste the sap’s sweetness wherever she was now, and how he would always remember how she shyly scuttled behind my texts whenever anyone who wasn’t him came in the room. It made him feel like she trusted him.

If there was one good thing in all of this, it was that sempai was well behaved during it all. I was almost worried that he’d pull some mean joke, but… he was polite and silent. He even patted J on the shoulder after it was done. I think I should remember that even with sempai being sempai, he does have a kind side.

I guess he’s finally over J trying to seduce or whatever. At least I hope so!

… That’s enough sadness for now, I think. I’ve mentioned to sempai that J could use a new friend, but we’re still not sure as to what. I see a lot of researching in our future.

—Ryuuji

Masato, this means that J is really in love with Ryuuji, or Ryuuji would not awake from J's kiss! You must act to stop J seducing your beloved away from you!
Anonymous

IM GONNA @#!&ING KILL THAT EGOTIST SEDUCER RAWWWRGH.

—Masato

… Yes, it’s been like that since J woke me up. :/ I tried explaining to sempai that J most likely misunderstood, and that I still love my sempai, but he’s been quite angry lately. And J being all ‘I have seduced Ryuuji’ doesn’t help.

Did you know that he asked me to dismantle J again?! I reminded him that he needs J to interact with this dimension, but I don’t think he cares…

—Ryuuji

Has Ryuuji recovered yet? Maybe you can wake him with true love's kiss!
Anonymous

Hmm, gud idea, Anon-chan! Lemme just lean down and pucker up—

(I, Beet J Stag, will wake him with true love’s kiss. —J)

…EXCUSE ME. J, WTF RU DOING—

(Mm… sempai? What’s going on? —Ryuuji)

…………….

(I have kissed Ryuuji. I rescued him. From now on, call me Beet J Stag Lovedoctor. —J)

…………………………….

PHOTOBOMBER HOMEWRECKER!!!111!!!!!!11!!!!!

—Masato

Sorry, I meant consummate your passion. Either way, without the ice cubes, it ain't happening!
Anonymous

Oh, I see, thank you for the clarification. :) Instead, you meant sempai and I…

I…

I feel faint…

—@_@

ffffffffffffff Anon-chan u made Ryuu-chan pass out. :( Some1 tell my bf he is not a Victorian heroine, pls!!!111!!!!11!

—Masato

Which of you confessed his love to the other first?
Anonymous

Um, I did. Although I was rather… opaque concerning my crush on him when I was young. I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if he always suspected how I felt, even back then.

—Ryuuji

Ryuuji, how do you feel about being called pet names like: Ryuu-san, Ryuu-chan, Nii-san and all the other things your teammates call you?
Anonymous

When Youko-chan first met me, she had difficulty pronouncing my name: I was her ‘Ryuu-san’ from the very beginning, so I don’t mind that at all. :) I’m actually relieved Hiromu follows her example— we were separated for awhile, but he still sees me as the nii-san.

As for sempai’s nicknames for me… well, that’s just one of his many quirks. At least I’m not like poor Kurorin. Um, I mean, Kuroki.

—Ryuuji

Well Ryuuji, Masato has to do that with ice cubes, otherwise you'll overheat and you and he cannot consume your passion!
Anonymous

C-consume my passion?!

I’m not sure how you came up with that metaphor, but trust me, I do understand the importance of ice cubes in our relationship. And it’s actually… kind of pleasant. Um, sometimes.

—Ryuuji